I have to take my anti-fungal medication on an empty stomach, and afterwards, to wait at least two hours before eating. So, 4:00 PM is a good time to take it in the afternoon (finishing lunch by 1:00 and not eating dinner untill 6:00). But I am to take two doses of the medication, 12 hours apart -- so that means taking the morning dose as close to 4:00 AM as possible!

I've been taking the medication for nearly eight months now, and it's remarkable how my subconscious has gotten into a rhythm of waking close to 4:00 AM.

In the dark, quietly padding through the silent house, I think of the monks who are at that moment gathered in the church at Mepkin Abbey for their first prayer service of the day: Vigils. Monks are called to pray for the health and salvation of the world. I am conforted by that, and feel connected to their prayer, in my dark kitchen, taking the medication necessary to maintain my health.