So I did get back to sleep this morning, at about 5:00. And since it's a Saturday, I slept until about 7:30.

What woke me up at 3:30 AM was some severe heartburn. Too much rich food at last night's Dining In group dinner! It was ok to be awakened then because it was a good time to take the night-time dose of anti-fungal medicine. But, at 3:30 AM, I was WIDE awake. There was no chance of sleeping for a while. That's because of the needs of a few parishioners who came to mind immediately when I woke.

A friend and former parishioner, Shannon Wall, was ordained a minister in the United Church of Christ a couple of months ago. She sent me a copy of the sermon preached by her colleague, the Rev. Larry Wood. It's one of the best ordination sermons I've heard or read; in particular, these lines:

"When you care for a few hundred people in any authentic way, their concerns ride in the car with you as you go home, and crawl into bed with you at night.

"As plenty of folks over the years have said, this line of work isn't our idea. Being called is God's idea."

What to do when those concerns contribute to sleeplessness? At 3:30 AM, it was good to open a book that Pastor Rich Olson alerted me to during my sabbatical: Transformational Ministry, by Michael Jinkins. I have found this little book to be indispensable for my health! A few lines:

(Jinkins cites the great Reformer, John Calvin, concerning a way) to understand the theological significance of the minister's work: as placing ourselves at God's disposal as God seeks to transform persons through the renewing of their minds into the likeness of Jesus Christ.

...we do not perform our ministry in isolation as though it is something we produce, something we can be proud of, something that depends on our strength and intelligence and skills. There is a restful quality in Calvin's discussion of our ministry, a restful, trustful quality grounded in the awareness that our ministry is given to us by God; and that which God gives, God empowers.

The success of our ministry does not depend on us. Our ministry and indeed, our entire lives are in God's hands, as though we are tools in the hands of a skilled carpenter. And, while we are responsible to be good tools, the work is not accomplished because of our sharpness. God accomplishes God's ministry with even the dullest of tools.

I wonder if even Calvin was "restful" and "trustful" every night at 3:30 AM? Probably not. But, spending some time in prayer, remembering that the work is not something that depends on my strength and intelligence and skills, allows this pastor to go back to bed and to get some more sleep before morning comes.