A typical, quiet Saturday here in Williamsburg. It's cold. It's bright and sunny. I was out in my car, running an errand. Others were doing the same.

I thought it surreal: that things could be so quiet and routine here, in one place, while, across the world, the day is so extremely important to the future. I am so relieved to read the on-line report that has just come across:

Iraqis voted on Saturday for local representatives, on an almost violence-free election day aimed at creating provincial councils that more closely represent Iraq’s ethnic, sectarian and tribal balance. By nightfall, there were no confirmed deaths, and children played soccer on closed-off streets in a generally joyous atmosphere.

Thank God!

Perhaps a durable peace is taking hold in Iraq. Perhaps democracy is established. Perhaps the path is clear for the our military commanders to continue withdrawing our soldiers and sailors and airmen from harm's way.

Here's the story in this morning's New York Times that makes today's issue worth the subscription price. It's a small piece, on page A20. To me, it is extremely thought-provoking, about the way we live.

Red Alert from the Obama White House on Monday: e-mail was down.

The crowd that texted, You-Tubed and Twittered its way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue struggled on Monday with a White House e-mail breakdown that had President Obama's aides distributing information on, of all things, paper. The press secretary, Robet Gibbs, began his daily briefing at 1:45 p.m. by apologizing for the failure.

"Apologies if you've e-mailed any of us in the last two and a half hours," Mr. Gibbs said, adding that he hoped the system would be up and running soon. It was still out of commission at 7 p.m.

The all-day cutoff threw the White House into a kind of communications Dark Ages, forcing workers to talk to one another on the phone or even in person. "A lot of people met for the first time today," said Tommy Vietor an assistant press secretary. "And we had to learn how to work the photocopier."

No official word on the cause of the failure, though many theories were advanced. Perhaps the techno-savvy Obama team overloaded the system. Or maybe Mr. Obama's supersecure BlackBerry threw a kink into the words. Whatever the reason, Mr. Gibbs insisted it was no crisis, and seemed to see an upside in being disconnected -- at least for the time being.

"I've had the calmest morning I've had in about five years," he said.

Hmmm. People actually talking to one another, and meeting each other; a calm morning: those sound like very good things, don't they? In fact, it sounds like a promising environment for actual communication -- and perhaps even for thought and reflection, huh?

Coincidentally, yesterday, for some reason, I was possessed by the desire to clean out the closet in my office. In the process, I threw out years' worth of issues of a theological journal that I once subscribed to -- issues that I read once upon a time. I told Patty that I had done that, saying "I have a pile of stuff to read. I'm sure not going to have the time to go back and re-read old journals."

I thought for a moment and said, "It seems to me that I used to read more, and more systematically than I do now." She said, "That was before you had to spend so much time on e-mail."

Hmmm. E-mail does take up an hour a day. Maybe more. (Some folks have encouraged me to get a Facebook page, because younger folks use that much more than the old folks' technology of e-mail. I wonder: where would I find the time to do that??)

Another question comes to mind: do I need to spend much time on e-mail? Should I use the "delete" button even more than I do now?

E-mail is GREAT for getting out mass information, announcements, etc. E-mail is a TERRIBLE medium for conversation. (It more often fosters miscommunication.) For actual conversations, the old-fashioned telephone is what's effective, not to mention the ancient practice of being in the same room as the other person during a conversation.

Day-to-day life in this brave new world...

Memorial Service Homily for Samantha Trost

There were 900 people at the Memorial Service for 20-year old Sam Trost yesterday. I was overwhelmed by the people who came up to tell me that they appreciated the fact that I met head-on what they were feeling. Included were some who have no relationship with a community of faith, who had never heard God described in this way. Here is what I said.

Two weeks ago, after the oncologist told Samantha and her family that nothing more could be done to stop Sam’s cancer, I was talking to Sam’s mother, Melia. There was a pause in the conversation. Then Melia said, “This really sucks.”

Since it is the preacher’s job to tell the truth, let me say: Absolutely. This really sucks.

Cancer, radiation, having to have a leg amputated, chemotherapy and the nausea that goes along with it, an artificial leg, crutches, a wheelchair, Sam’s dying, the fact that we have to be here this morning – all of those things really suck.

So – where is God?

God is right here. God is right in the midst of all of this. Emmanuel, which means “God is with us” – where things really suck.

It is not true that God is somewhere far away, removed from us, deciding who to give a healing miracle to. (A lot of people think of God that way. And, since God didn’t give Sam a healing miracle, then why even fool with God?)

But if that’s the way God works: staying far removed, deciding who will live and who will die, then why did God take on our human flesh? We know God most fully through Jesus. God comes among us, as Jesus. God enters into our human lives. God knows what we experience. God celebrates with us when we are joyous. God cries with us when we suffer. It is that God – intimately present to us, in relationship with us – who is portrayed in both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament.

And so, here is another thing that is true: God suffered with Sam (right there with her!) during her surgeries, and her nausea, and her despair over a leg that didn’t fit. God was with her, struggling for breath during the last couple of days. God was right there. As the gospel writer of Matthew puts it: “’Emmanuel’ – which means, ‘God is with us.’”

In the same way, God is right here. God is suffering with you and me, in our grief, in our anger, in our sadness, in our confusion. (Have you known those emotions over the past few days, the past few weeks and months? Do you think grief is a “straight line” progression, that every day you’ll feel a little bit better than the day before? Don’t count on it. Grief sucks. But right here is God. With us. Holding on to us, day-by-day, as we stumble through our grief.)

The words of the funeral liturgy say this, paraphrasing some of Paul’s words in the letter to the Romans: "When we were baptized in Christ Jesus, we were baptized into his death. We were buried therefore with him by Baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his."

So – here’s another thing that is true: God does not abandon us. In the darkest places, God is with us, leading us towards the light. It is the light of resurrection, of the kingdom that has dawned in Jesus, of the kingdom that will come (and when it comes there will be no more cancer and no more death and no more tears).

What does that light of resurrection look like? Picture Sam’s smile! And then multiply by about a billion. That’s how bright the light of resurrection is – where Sam is, right now, in the resurrection, in the new life with God.

You and I still struggle. We are still in the old life. But God enters in. And God gives us what we desperately need, in our grief and our anger and our sadness and our confusion. For instance, when we hug each other, that is God, holding us close. When we tell each other stories about Sam, God is reminding us what a gift she has been to us over the past 20 years: headstrong (Lord, headstrong even in the womb, before she was born!); little, tiny, always on the move; her face revealing what she was thinking at every moment; right there with her emotions and her opinions; full of hopes and dreams and courage. Lord, what courage.

So let me tell you another thing that is true. God gave Sam to us as a companion in our pilgrimage on earth. God has given Sam to us, to be a model of how to live – in hope and courage, even when things really suck.

I want you to be strengthened by Sam’s model of courage over these past five years.

It takes incredible courage to resist the impulse to just curl up into a ball under the pressure of our horrific grief. It takes the courage of Samantha Trost to trust. To open up. To let go.

It takes tremendous courage to trust God at this time. To trust that God is with us – in our flesh and in our emotions, knowing and experiencing what we are feeling. It takes tremendous courage to open ourselves in trust to God who is leading us into resurrection. God is offering us that courage, because God loves us.

It takes tremendous courage to open up to others; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; to allow others to help us through this time. To know that we cannot do it ourselves. We cannot make it through this grief by ourselves. We need to receive courage from God so that we can open up to each other, to receive care from each other – because that is how God cares for us. Be that courageous – just like Sam was. Receive that gift from God, who loves us.

We give thanks to God, because by his death Jesus destroyed the power of death and by his resurrection has opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers. We pray for the hope, the confidence, the certainty that can only come as gifts from God – that, because Jesus the Christ lives we shall live also, and that nether death nor life, nor things present nor things to come shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Receive that hope from God. Receive that courage from God – so that you can live in that love; in that healing; in other words, to live in the resurrection – because, even now, that is where Sam is, enfolded in the arms of God who created her, and who saved her, and who loves her for all eternity.

In the name of that God, who is Father and Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Pastor Andy Ballentine
St. Stephen Lutheran Church
Williamsburg, Virginia

Ok. I've done it. I've finished a homily for Samantha Trosts' Memorial Service tomorrow morning. (Their pastor, Heidi Moore, will be the liturgist and one of the musicians, playing her guitar.)

It took me three days to write the homily. (In the Bible, of course, the number "three" indicates that God is doing something special. I pray that the Spirit is working through me.)

It took a day for me to confront my own grief and and sadness and anger over the death of this irreplaceable 20-year old. It took time for me to overcome my own faithlessness, to think of some words I might say. It took me time to overcome my immaturity.

(Idon'twanttodothisIdon'twanttodothisIdon'twanttodothisIdon'twanttodothis).

I came up with some words yesterday that I might say. And then I completely re-wrote them. I re-wrote them again this morning, and then wrote some more. But I still didn't know how the homily would conclude. So I went outside to rake leaves, and to pray, to offer the whole thing up to God who is Holy Spirit. And after an hour or so, an ending came to me.

We'll see if the words are any good tomorrow.

Hope was a major theme in Barack Obama's campaign. I'll tell you one thing I hope for, as the first post-Boomer President begins his term. I hope he's more emotionally healthy than the two representatives of my generation who held the office.

President Clinton acted out of a self-centered narcissism that so many in my generation possess. That caused caused him to be undisciplined and less effective than he could have been. He actually accomplished much. But what overshadows that? Monica Lewinski, and the impeachment that resulted from that self-centered narcissism.

President Bush was disciplined to the opposite extreme, to the point of inflexibility. But he acted out of an arrogant ideological certitude that so many in my generation possess. He was incapable of listening to opposing points of view. (Yesterday he told a welcoming crowd in Texas that he has no regrets about his eight years in office.)

I'm hoping that our new, post-Boomer president will be healthier than his two predecessors. I hope President Obama will continue to be as disciplined as he has been through his career. I hope that he will continue to approach his work with humility, paying attention to those who argue that he is wrong.

Dates of life and death, of national and personal importance.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was born 80 years ago this past Thursday. He died in 1968, at age 39. (Remarkably, he was eight years younger than the President who is inaugurated today).

Ardey Phillips of our congregation died this past Saturday, at age 69.

My father was born 85 years ago this past Sunday. He died in 2006, at age 82.

Yesterday I said goodbye to Samantha Jo Trost, who died a couple of hours later. I had baptized her as an infant in 1988, making the sign of the cross on her wet forehead. Yesterday, because she was feeling so feverish, a loved one had put a wet wash cloth on the top of her head. So, on the day of her death, I again made the sign of the cross on her wet forehead.

Tomorrow will be the ( )th birthday (I am not authorized to release her age) of my best friend who, thank God, agreed with my proposal in 1975 that we get married.

The point is this: Who knows how many years of life we will be given? Each day is a gift. Cherish each day. Cherish the loved ones that God has given to you.

A couple of hours ago, I heated up a bowl of left over chili for lunch, sat down in front of the TV, turned on CNN -- and there was Joe Biden and then Barack Obama, speaking in front of the train station in Wilmington, Delaware, only a 15 minute walk from where I lived up there.

I don't know that a Republican President or Presidential candidate has ever visited Delaware. Certainly not for decades, at least. In 1992 I walked a few blocks to see candidate Bill Clinton, in the city for a rally downtown (with then-Senator Biden). It was an informal, rollicking affair. Afterwards, the Wilmington Director of Public Safety (who was a member of our congregation) called me over and said, "Andy, let me introduce you to my Chief." So I exchanged some conversation with Karen and "her" Chief of Police and, after a few minutes, he glanced at his watch and said, "OK. By now he's the County Police's problem." He was so relieved that Clinton had left his jurisdiction, and that there had been no incidents!

Two years later, President Clinton returned to Wilmington to campaign for Charlie Oberly (again, a member of our congregation) who was running for the Senate against Bill Roth (for whom the "Roth IRA" was named). There was an entirely different level of security -- now that Clinton was President! No one was able to get within blocks of his podium without passing through a metal detector and close scrutiny by police. In fact, we had to walk several blocks out of the way even to get to the security check point.

I thought about that concern for security when watching Obama today. I said to Patty, "I'll bet no one has been able to get within blocks of that site without being searched." After he talked, Obama plunged into the crowd around the stage! He was surrounded by four or five Secret Service agents who were literally touching him on all sides. I give thanks for those dedicated men and women keeping the President-elect safe. Indeed, I pray for them regularly.

What an amazing story -- of the pilot who landed the crippled US Airways jet in the middle of the Husdon river opposite midtown Manhattan yesterday afternoon, of every single passenger and crew member being rescued, with only a small number even needing to be hospitalized.

I have been thinking of them this morning. Did any of them get any sleep? As they have seen the light of morning, are they thankful for this first bonus day of life that has been given to them?

Their every day of life, from now on, will be a bonus.

The news came through last week. The vivacious, irrepressible, beautiful, talented girl, now 20 years old, who has been fighting cancer for nearly five years, was told by her oncologist that there was no further treatment that he could offer. The fight has been vigorous,but the cancer has been virulent. The doctor expects that there will be only a few more weeks of her life. I baptized Samantha when I was her family's pastor in Virginia Beach. I called Sam's mother to say that I had received the news. She said, "This really sucks."

That's precisely where God is. With us. Where things really suck.

Again and again this morning, I've thought to myself, "Oh! I've forgotten to take my medicine." And then I remember: I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE MY MEDICINE!

Yesterday, Dr. Flenner told me that I could stop, after two years and two months! (But who's counting?)

The past two times the histoplasmosis antigen in my blood has been measured, the lab has reported it to be "less than .06." Dr. Flenner's expectation was that it would need to be zero before he would declare me healthy. But he consulted with the physician who runs the lab (the only one in the country, as I understand, that measures histoplasmosis antigen levels), and it sounds like "less than .06" might mean zero in my case. So he shocked me yesterday: not telling me to redue the amount of anti-fungal medicine, but to stop it entirely! I'll see him in two months, to make sure that the antigen has stayed at "less than .06."

Well, the big news on the religion in the public square front is that Superstar Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson has been asked to give an important invocation during the inauguration festivities, to mollify the gay rights folks who are upset by the choice of Superstar Evangelical preacher, writer and TV star Rick Warren, who's giving THE important invocation of the inauguration, but who's opposed to gay rights.

Whoo boy.

Both of these guys assented to the celebrity-making machinery in our culture long ago. Now, it seems to me, both of them are letting themselves be manipulated. Why are they letting themselves be used to stoke polarizing public debate?

It also seems to me that both of these guys are captive to American definitions of "success" -- which runs contrary to the model of the Biblical prophets, and of Jesus the Christ, whose work carried on that prophetic tradition. (Remember that, whenever Jesus' adoring followers advocated making him some sort of civic leader, he hid until the enthusiasm died down. And whenever the crowds following him became too adoring and grew too large, he worked harder to be explicit about how difficult the path of Christian faith is -- which resulted in dramatically smaller crowds following him.)

Is a bishop or a preacher faithful when s/he allows himself to be made into a celebrity?

I have a friend named Jeff Krehbiel, who is the pastor of The Church of the Pilgrims (Presbyterian), in DC. This is the third congregation Jeff has served, all three of which are in tough urban neighborhoods, with heavy emphasis on serving the poor. Have you heard of him? Nope. Would he offer well-worded invocations that God would listen to? Yup. Since he's not a celebrity, there would be none of the polarization. And -- bonus! -- he already lives in DC, wouldn't need a hotel room or transportation. (He could walk to the inauguration sites.) Think of the thousands of dollars that would save.

I probably should have warned you: I'm reading the letters of Mother Teresa and the diaries of Dorothy Day. I can't think of two people who more actively shunned the celebrity-making machine -- most importantly because they understood that followers of Jesus are called to humility; and also because the demands of celebrity would have made it harder to do the work God had called them to do.

I'm especially excited about the Inauguration, coming up on January 20, and I've been thinking about why that is.

One reason is because of the historic challenges facing our nation. It's not business as usual. How will our leaders lead us out of the dangers we're into?

Another reason is that the inauguration of a President who is African-American is truly a sea-change. It is stunning, for instance, to think of what has happened during the single life span of Joseph Lowry (a hero of the civil rights movement, who will be giving the benediction on January 20). When Lowry was born, "Negroes" were not permitted to vote at all. During his years of life, Lowry has now watched the country elect a person to be president who would not have been allowed even to vote! What a reason for patriotism.

Another reason why I'm excited about January 20 is that the world is watching this too. The New York Times ran an article last week interviewing Barack Obama's cousin, who lives in Barack's father's home village in Kenya. This cousin has a high level of education, unusual in Kenya -- and he can't find work in his field. There are few working institutions in Kenya, the economy is based on corruption and graft, there is little opportunity for personal advancement. But in America! In America it is possible for someone like Barack Obama to make something of himself and even to be elected President! In countless nations around the world, people are watching us and are amazed at what is possible in our nation. What a huge step towards restoring our reputation around the world. What a reason for patriotism.

I was moved to read about the transition ceremony in the Senate, transferring power from retiring Virginia Senator John Warner to newly-sworn-in Virginia Senator Mark Warner. As part of the ceremony, the retiring Republican ushered the newly-elected Democrat, to present him for the swearing in. Millions and millions of people around the world are envious of such government. What a reason for patriotism.

Even more visibly symbolic was the lunch meeting that Obama initiated with every other living American who has been elected President. What an image that picture of the five of them standing together, of both parties, pledging support to the soon-to-be inaugurated President. What a message it sends to the world -- for the outgoing President (of one political party) to say that he wants to incoming President (of the other party) to succeed, because "we all love our country." Millions and millions of people around the world are envious of such a transition of power.

What wonderful reasons for a swell of healthy patriotism! Not "my country, right or wrong." But "my country, getting some big things right."

What joy!

Yesterday, late afternoon, my monthly meeting with my spiritual director. We said hello and then sat and waited, as begins each session of spiritual direction. And I found myself in the most profound silence; an enveloping sense of God's presence. After a while I said, "I have been finding myself in a deep silence, but haven't had anything to verbalize." She looked at her watch. An hour and ten minutes had passed. What a gift.

This morning, looking out at the darkness and the fog. I said to Patty (in fact I whined): "I'm tired of not being able to get out on my bicycle!" And by the time I'd taken my shower, the sun was beginning to peek through. And so, since I have fenders, a wet road is no deterrent, and I was able to commute on two wheels for the first time in 2009. (Because the forecast is for periods of showers during the day, my bike is in the stair well, rather than locked out at the bike rack. Don't tell the Fire Marshall.)

Now, I pray that everything I do today (bulletin prep, sermon writing, meeting with staff, working on year-end membership statistics) will be done in prayer.

Happy Epiphany!

"Epiphany" comes from the Greek for "manifestation" or "appearance."

From Worship Wordbook (ed. Van Loon and Stauffer):

"The festival on January 6 celebrating the manifestation of Christ to the world, recalling the visit of the magi (Matthew 2:1-12).

"The date of January 6 coincided with the winter solstice in the eastern part of the mediterranean world, where this festival was first observed in the third century. This observance pre-dates the December 25 Christmas observance by a century.

"The number of magi is not known; the fact of the three gifts (Matt. 2:11) may account for the idea of three magi. They may have been sages who specialized in astronomy, perhaps Zoroastrian priests from Persia (present-day Iran). That they were Gentiles, not Jews, is why the Epiphany festival celebrates the revelation of Jesus as the Christ to the whole world.

"The gift of gold was valuable, a gift fit for a king. Frankincense was a type of incense used in worship, symbolizing prayers rising to God. Myrrh was a fragrant resin used in oil for anointing and to prepare a body for burial (John 19:39)."

Let's hear it for those rising global temperatures!

Patty and others who remember Williamsburg decades ago tell me of snow and of prolonged sub-freezing temperatures so that there was actually ice skating on Lake Matoka.

Now, however, we don't need to shovel that stuff that's falling from the sky this morning. I'm happy to leave my snow shovel in the garage. I used it often enough when I lived "up nawth."

It was January 1. It was the day we celebrate the dawning of a new year, full of untold possibilities and promise.

I spent part of the morning exploring a cemetery.

Hollywood Cemetery, in Richmond, dates to the 19th century. It is enough of a tourist attraction that staff members sell maps of grave sites, and offer walking tours in the warm months. The Confederate section -- with its rows and rows of gravestones -- witnesses to the tragedy of the Civil War in a way no history book could do so. The monuments at the graves of Lewis Ginter and JEB Stuart cause a visitor to pause. There are the graves of two Presidents of the United States of America, and the one President of the Confederate States of America. There are six Governors of Virginia buried in the cemetery.

There are headstones with short inscriptions which express piercing, heartbreaking grief. There are headstones with long lists of accomplishments, clearly composed to emphasize the departed one's importance in history.

But here's what came to my mind after a while: the fifth stanza of Isaac Watts' text in the hymn, "O God, Our Help in Ages Past."

Time, like an ever-rolling stream,
bears all our years away;
they fly forgotten, as a dream
dies at the op'ning day.

Forgotten?

Yes, even for the hundreds and hundreds buried at Hollywood who were prominent and highly accomplished.

For instance, to use some examples of the most illustrious: tell me something about any of the six Virginia Governors buried in Hollywood. Fitzhugh Lee. Charles T. O'Ferrell. John Garland Pollard. William Smith. Claude A. Swanson. Henry A. Wise. President James Monroe is buried in Hollywood. You know of the "Monroe Doctrine." Anything else you can tell me? Would you recognize the name of President John Tyler (also buried in Hollywood) if our local portion of Rt. 5 wasn't named the "John Tyler Highway," because it goes past his house? Quick: what years was he president?

We are forgotten so quickly. In only three generations there is no one with a living memory of someone after his/her death.

Who will remember us? The God who created us, and who will be "our eternal home." There is grace in this.

And what will endure is the work we do for the dawning kingdom of God on earth: the peacemaking, the work for justice and reconciliation and healing and salvation. That will endure because it is God's work. That will endure because we model for the next generation how to live as citizens of God's kingdom. The kingdom advances as each generation builds on the work of the previous. We received the work from those who went before us, and we pass it off to those who come after us.

Life is so fleeting. There is so little that is truly important -- including most of what we worry about and agonize over! What endures is God. There is grace in this -- especially on those days when you and I feel burdened by the weight of the world.

The future is not ours. The future is God's future!

Total 2008 mileage on my two bicycles: 2,559.

Total 2009 mileage, year to date: 19. It's fun to re-set the handlebar computer and watch the mileage begin again, from zero.

Actually, it'd be interesting to add up our total St. Stephen congregational bicycling mileage for 2008. Chuck Frey was up over 2,000. Reed and Karen Nester were over 3,000 each. Robert Floyd would be good for a couple thousand. What about Charles Osborn? Nancy Carter? Sandy and Tom Peterkin and Mike and Carla Javier?